The time between...

A few months have passed since my last entry. I don't particularly feel like recounting stories from the time between now and then, so I'll just give the quick and dirty version (this post is PG, so I will leave out the joke about how it's not so unlike my sex life).

Right, so after a month of this...



(not me)

... was a month of this ...


(toronto)


(montreal)


(ottawa)


(madoc)

... with zee Germans ...



... next, southbound to Hotlanta (which I found was inappropriately named) where I was trained by a master in the art of chasing these (aka, a DONK)...



... and did a bunch of this...



... with a dog that didn't respect my personal space ...



... but he got his ...



(yes, this is a poodle with a mohawk)

.. then off to visit my completely normal parents ...




... which explains why I'm so normal ...



... and now...

...MEXICO!

The blogwebs and Sailing

Sorry about the lack of content lately. The internet just hasn't been readily available or high on my priority list of late. But I'll make an attempt to shake off the blogwebs and throw up a little content.



Let's start with sailing. The first night I was in Thunder bay, I met some German girls who were drinking wine in the main room of the hostel (which is really more like a home, and is where I'm staying). Of course, I joined them, regailed them with some on-the-spot guitar songs and tales of times gone by, and we laughed and spend a lovely time. So they took me sailing.



Sailing is awesome. From what I can tell, all you need is:

• a high-strung captain who can scream, and curse, a LOT...
  
• a fairly incompitent crew with a complete lack of experience
• a lot of beer

Little did I know when we started, but our sailing adventure was part of a sailboat racing league. The standing were close, and the ship I was on was in a dogfight for first overall. Everything was great out of the gate, we won that part of the battle... but things started to go awry when we dropped the sail in the water. Holy crap was the captain pissed. I thought the vein in his neck was going to explode. And as if that wasn't bad enough, it then got dragged under the boat, completely demolishing any chance of our victory. The captain then put on an astonishingly curse-tacular oral lashing on the experienced members of the crew. Slowly the red in his face drained as he accepted our fate.

But let me tell you, I have never enjoyed losing so much. It meant beer.


And a relaxed captain.



That is until his friend dropped the $600 rope into the water, at which point the neck-vein tagged in the forehead vein, and they put on a spectacular throbbing display. Thankfully, he lived through the experience.



And all is well that ends well. We got back to shore, and went out for an evening of merriment at a fine local establishment.




PS: Thanks to Bianca for the photos!

Nice Dress, Beer

I know, I know, I've always looked good in blue and white, it works so well with my eyes.

As you may or may not be able to tell, this is not just another of my dress up fantasy parties, this is actually a hospital gown. After a few days of excruciating pain that started in the outside joints of my knees, and progressed in both up and down my legs, I decided that I needed to see a doctor about this. So on my way into Thunder Bay, I went to the hospital.

Went to the doctor, the doctor said,
"Sorry Jonno, your IT bands' are dead"
"Dead? heck no! maybe inflamed,
listen doc, what are you REALLY saying?"
"I'm saying if you ride, a monkey you are,
I suggest your trip is done, take a bus, or a car."
"How can I fix it? Pills? Intravenus?"
"Well we can stick this here tube in the end of your..."
"*gasp*"
"Just kidding." Man doctors have a sick sense of humor.

And on we went like this for some time, until he finally gave me the 3 step process required to fix my problem:

1. rest for a minimum of 1 week, 2 is *much* better
2. go to physiotherapy
3. continue going to physiotherapy

Hmmm. What a shame, I came so close, within a few hundred kilometers of catching Katherine, and now I am laid up.



But not to worry, my spirits aren't down, although when I got the news I was initially disappointed, until I realized that there must be a reason for this. So I went and found a hostel, drank wine with beautiful women and played guitar until bed. Then the next day I went sailing. Now I'm hitchhiking to Timmins, to visit a Chinese medical doctor friend of mine who I'm going to convince to poke me with needles for a few days. Then, who knows!

Kakabeka Falls

Wow. And I didn't even know Kakabeka Falls existed.



They call it "Niagara du Nord," and for good reason, as it's only 13m more shallow than Niagara Falls, although the amount of water that flows over the falls is quite a bit less.



It's 70m across by 40m deep. If you're ever around Thunder Bay, go the extra 30 km outside town to see this. They've got a great information centre at which you can learn the history of the falls, and the significant role the river that leads into it played in the formation of our country (specifically the use during the rise and fall of the fur trade).

Passing on good advice

As I sat in a coffee shop, waiting for the rain to pass, an elderly man came in and got a coffee and sat at the table next to me. I sat looking at this man, his back straight, although his body well weathered. His eyebrows has stretched with age, so they drooped over his eyelids to the point where you couldn't see them for the eyebrow skin. But his eyes shone, with a twinkle of youth. And he wore this gigantic gap-toothed smile, with creases from his eyes to his neck. Wore it like it wore it every day of his life.

We started chatting about the weather, as all good conversations have to start somewhere. One thing lead to the next, and we ended up talking for 20 minutes, as he told me stories from his time gone by. He worked in a mill when he was 18 or 19. Carried in his lunch box, did his job, at his peanut butter and jam sandwich, breathed in the polluted air, and went home. It was a simple life. Then one day he looked around and saw these 65 year old men, with their lunch boxes, peanut butter and jam sandwiches, breathing in the same polluted air he was, and he realized that they were him, just 45 years later. The next day he quit. He didn't want to live that life, and he saw his future in those men, and heard it in their coughs.

He worked different trades from then until now, learning some skill or another, using it, until a new one was required. You could tell he didn't have a lot of money, his clothes were well worn and his discourse was grough. But he was happy.

As the rain had temporarily let up, I had to go and move my tent from the bear path (the previous night, I'd set it up on the path the bear walks nightly to get to the garbage bin) to the church (talk about getting closer to God). We said our goodbyes, and I headed for the door. As I had it pulled open, he called out to me "Hey," and flashed his gap-tooth grin my way, "enjoy your life, it's the only one you've got!"

I thought that was some pretty good advice.

Ta ta Manitoba, Hill-o Ontario

Sorry about the lack of updates lately, but my internet access has been quite limited for the last 10 days or so.

Off the grass, and onto the rock. Usually this would be a bad progression, but in this case, it's quite a blessing. I was sick of the Prairie's. They went on forever. After doing this by bike, I suggest you take a car. So here I am, in northern Hilltario. It was really amazing, within about a 1 km stretch just inside the Manitoba/Ontario, the scenery went from tall Prairie grass as far as the eye can see, to rocks and trees and lakes, and beautiful coloured leaves, and HILLS! I never thought I'd be so happy to see the road rise and fall. The feeling only lasted for the first one or two :)

Wow, so much has happened since my last entry... I'll just recount some of the events quickly:

• given free beer on many occasions
• given free food a few times
• wiped out at about 3 km/hr and cracked a rib (this is not verified)
• camped for free since, basically Alberta, minus a few exceptions
• invited to stay in a couple's bunk house for a night, because they like cyclists
• went to Winnipeg, got a guided tour by a nice local girl of all the touristy areas and was offered a temp job by a guy that runs the Beatnik bookstore
• played lots of free pool

People have been wonderful.

Now I have to get going, because there's a massive storm blowing in that all the locals are buzzing about, and I want to go 100 km today.

I'm probably going to catch up to Katherine's bicycle tour group this week, yesssss... she doesn't know that, I've been very vague in my emails to her about my whereabout, and I'm hoping that she's too busy to check this blog entry before I make it to her. I'd like to surprise her. Any ideas on what I should do? Just leave a comment..

A typical conversation

I get a lot of the same questions everywhere I go, so I'll make up a completely fake and partially ridiculous conversation that I'd have on any typical day.

*Jonathan walks into a diner, flashy his pearly whites around the room, looking for eye contact. It's pretty hard to miss him, what, with his cowboy look, shining eyes, and a-la-mode hairstyle, freshly carved out by his bike helmet.*

Jonathan: "Howdy!"
Stranger, becoming a friend: "Hola amigo.. I see you rode up on a gallant steed, what brings you down this road?"
Jonathan: "Well, friend, my legs of course."
Friend: *chuckling* "You're a funny lad, not to mention good looking, come sit with me, we'll chat about the world awhile."
Jonathan: "Why how kind you are, thank you."
Friend: "So, where you coming from?"

*At this point, a quick assessment of the person must be done. Do they REALLY want to know? Are you going to insult them by saying a place to small, or a place too big?*

Jonathan: "BC, about 120 km west of Nelson."
Friend: *nodding* "Oh ya."

*Obviously they didn't know, but don't really care, they were just being polite.*

Friend: "So where ya heading?"
Jonathan: "East. Depends on when the snow flies. My folks tell me there's a chance of flurries today, and I tell them there's a chance of me catching the bus."
Friend: "Oh ya, she was a cold one last night boy."
Jonathan: "Foooooof, you're telling me! I'm in my tent outside the ! Woke up when my breath that had frozen to the ceiling of my tent started to melt and drip on me with the morning sun."
Friend, inching closer: "Mmmm, you poor thing -- Fran, give this boy a coffee!"
Jonathan: "Oh you don't have t... thank you so much."
Friend: "So how far you going every day?"
Jonathan: "Depends on a few things... #1) the wind -- a headwind literally cuts my distance in half when compared to a tailwind; #2) the weather -- a cold morning, is a sleeping bag morning; #3) the terrain -- hills, not that I've seen any for 800 km, but when they DO sneak up on ya, they slow ya down. But generally speaking, about 100 km a day."
Friend: "Holy smokes, I couldn't do that!"
Jonathan: "You might surprise yourself! I think you could.."
Friend: "Really? Fran, bring this boy some cake; you know he's biking 100 km a day??"
*Turning back to Jonathan* "So how fast do you go?"
Jonathan: "Again, depending on the three factors... with a tailwind, about 25km/hr, with a headwind, about 15 km/hr, no wind and a few hills, about 20 km/hr. Top speed's been about 75 km/hr."
*This is the precise moment where you can see them shit themselves.*
Friend: "SEVENTY-FIVE? Are you joking? My jalopy can barely do 75!"
Jonathan: "Maybe it was you I passed on the way in here?"

*Both people laugh.*

* At this point, Jonathan inserts some relatively amusing story about the trip, even if he has to make one up, that makes the locals feel good about their situation, and can relate to him. Especially valuable if it's open ended and they can add to it. *

*We continue on with such talk for as long as we're both in the place. Generally, we end up talking about a few different things, depending on the sex. With women, it's about the safety of the trip, and calling the folks, and what to eat and wear. With men, it's cost of living, real estate, jobs and economy. Both like to talk about small town living, if you're in a small town, which you almost certainly are. And we all live happily ever after."

If you want any questions answered that weren't here, just ask...

Need a place to stay in Winnipeg

The title says it all. I'm going to be in Winnipeg on Sunday afternoon, and want to spend Monday there, exploring the city. So I need 2 nights accommodation. Does anybody know anybody that could put up a kind soul for a few nights? Here's what I'm posting to craigslist in winnipeg... feel free to forward it to anybody who may be of assistance (and include my email address in case they are able to take me in).

----------------- Here's the ad -----------------

I'm biking across the country. I'm in Glenboro, MB, and will be in Winnipeg most likely on Sunday afternoon. I want to stay for a few days in the city to check out the local scene, get to know the city a little more intimately, and meet some great people. So, great people and kind souls of Winnipeg, I call out to you! I need a place to stay for 2 nights (Sunday and Monday)!

I woke up this morning to the sound of my breathe crystalizing against the side of my tent, and decided I needed to post here, in hopes that a wonderful person will read this and want to make a new friend.

Here's my blog address, you can read and see what I'm about: jonathanbeer.blogspot.com

What I like to do when I'm "settled":
- play guitar, sing, dance a funny dance to the grooviest music I can find (or none, if it's not available)
- play a rowdy game of croquet, sun or snow
- ride my bike
- meditate
- read
- sledding!
- skiing
- go out and listen to music over some beer as often as possible
- share food
- try out just about anything, and have fun doing it

Maybe I can trade you a jar of pickles for a place to stay? Don't like pickles? No problem... Perhaps a massage? I can proof your essays? Help you with your computer? Play you a song? Write you a poem? I'd offer to cook, but you probably don't want that ;)

Can't put me up but have a friend who might? Forward them this add! Good karma!
Thanks!

Bye bye, Saskatchewindy, Hello Windtoba!

I can't believe the wind! It never ceases.

One day, into the wind all day. Next day, at the back all day. Of course, my mood changes with the wind *sigh*, still a long way to go in that regard.

Yesterday I set a record for myself so far on the trip. I made it 155 km in about 6h 15m. Boom-shakalaka! Gotta love the wind.

Today, different story. Let me paint you a picture. It was C-C-C-COLD last night! There was a layer of something that could've been mistaken (or not?) for frost on my tent this morning. I went back to bed. I finally got up and took a long, hot shower, and stayed an extra 20 minutes in the bathroom just because it was heated. Finally, I decided to head out, by this time it was after 11.

The locals were wearing toques and gloves. One of them told me not to worry, it's going to go "up to 9" today. WHAT. It's WHAT temperature? 4 degrees? Are you shitting me?

I am also wearing a toque and gloves. About 15 km into the day, it started to rain. And then the highway took a turn for the worse, so the wind that was such an ally quickly became an enemy. So there I am, mitts, toque, sweater, rain coat, rain pants, rain boots, "blasting" down the road, at a near-sound-barrier breaking 14 km/hr. But the speed wasn't the incredible part. The fact that I was leaned about 20-30 degrees into the cross-wind in order to stay in a straight line was what really got me laughing. So there I am, swerving every which way with every gust, rain stinging my face (but not ... my beard!!) as it blows almost horizontal to the road (I think, my perception may have been skewed on that angle), laughing so hard I'm about to pee myself. Must've been quite the scene for the oncoming traffic.

I have such a love/hate relationship with the wind.

The polls are in : Free Hugs Day... success!

Monday morning...




I headed out, fully equipped with a big smile, good humour, and a duct tape Free Hugs sign. Where to go? Well, who needs hugs the most? The business district! So I went an setup shop in downtown Regina, on the windiest day yet, right outside the banks, looking to hug some suits.


Suit-hugging is harder than... well, no, it's about as hard as I'd expect it to be. Although there was the odd person that didn't even flinch (*grumble grumble, free hugs, grumble, hugs won't make the market move, grumble*), most people were fairly receptive. Lots of people weren't into the free hugs, but at least they got a smile and/or a laugh. I even did get to hug a few suits.




Monday afternoon...

More hugs! Celeste came and found me in the afternoon. She was late because she'd been blown off her bike at an intersection. I'm telling you, it was *windy*.




A few girls though it was just so cool, they decided to hang out and give some hugs for a couple hours.



There was even another Free Hugger!



Observations:

• I hugged far more women than men. A lot of men told me, "maybe if I were a blonde." Love has nothing to do with sex. Just ask anybody who's been married long enough.
• The best hug I got was from a man.
• I was offered money for a hug. The sign quite clearly stated they were free. I just smiled and hugged.
• Even though most of the people that were huggers were doing it just for the fun of it, there were definitely a few people that really needed a hug. Hugging them was the most rewarding.

Monday night...

I biked 100 km with Celeste, with an awesome tailwind. These were our last kilometers together. I decided that I needed to get back on my own schedule, and try to push to Winnipeg for Friday. Turns out I'm probably not going to make it, but I gave it a good shot...

Free Hug Day was a blast, and a success! I hope you all got some hugs.