Critique of my training regime after 2 days on the road

During my previous post, I let you in on my top-secret training regime. After spending the last two days riding, I would like to revisit my previously prevailing wisdom:

1. Riding a bus does not help you prepare for a bike trip, from a physical standpoint. Just because you're sitting on the bus, doesn't mean that you can handle sitting on a bike seat, whilst peddling. For future trips, if you're planning on using the 'bus-bike' translation, I would suggest taking a very small object and sitting on it with the little bit between your butt and your, well, you know. For the entire duration of the trip. This will be better prepration. Oh, and the hair on your chest actually comes in handy when you wake up in sub-zero temperatures at the top of a mountain where you decided to stop for the day.
2. Drinking beer and wine on the dock does not prepare you for a cycling trip. Although it's good to know what a mid-day buzz feels like, so that you're not completely freaked out when you're mentally and physically exhausted and start whigging out half way up the mountain pass.
   
3. Although it seemed like a good idea to not tire out my cycling muscles by waterskiing, it appears this was faulty logic. I should have biked.
4. Staying longer at the cottage, was a good idea.
5. It turns out that fatness does actually directly translate into km/hr. However, I what I failed to previously understand that it's a negative correlation. Carrying extra weight, on your body or elsewhere, just means you have more to drag up the hills.

The first day of my trip was the hardest 55 km I've ever biked. When I said the hill was 20 km, I was misguided, probably because those that told me had never RIDDEN A BIKE. It was 20 km, before the 500m flat stretch, which was directly before the next 12 km climb. Insert a km of flat again, and then climb another 4 km. At about the 30km mark of my trip, all of the ditches and gullies were starting to look like 5 star hotels. I could've slept anywhere. And I did, a few times, pulling over to sleep on the side of the road, in the ditch. By the time I'd reached the top of this climb I was mentally and physically exhausted, and couldn't wait to critique my training regime, for the good of future cyclists that may be reading this.

I had a few good laughs on my trip. The painful irony of watching the "SLOW" signs go by, at 7 km/hr provided me with some comic relief. Also, making my best "oh please just kill me now" faces at the cars going by, and watching their reactions gave me some reprieve also.

Despite my best efforts, I have not set any land speed records. I have not yet given up hope.

Today I'm in Nelson (it was a quick 73 km, with the first 27 km all downhill!). I'll be here for a day of rest (tomorrow) to give my buttocks a chance to recover and stare at all the beautiful hippies that populate this town. I think I'll go to the beach.

Smile on brave soldiers.