An age has passed since my last post!

It´s true.


I´m 28.


Oh... my... SWEET HEAVENLY TULIPS. I'm old.


Does anybody remember putting stuff in time capsules when they were still in gradeschool? I would, if my memory weren't failing. But this is part of being ancient I suppose.


If I _did_ remember, I'm sure that I would've written about when I was at some infathomably ancient age, like 28. And I probably would've written about how I was rich, and popular, and married with a beautiful wife, and have beautiful smiling children running around my yard telling me how much they love me, before driving them in my high-class vehicle to baseball practise (which naturally I coach) and dance class (which, naturally, my wife teaches -- you gotta remember, this was written in a time when it wasn't unPC to write that a man would be coaching baseball and a woman teaching dance and not vice versa), laughing all the way.


Oh shit. I'm 28. I'm single. I'm far from rich. My '91 Jetta is parked and rusting to death behind my parents barn. Whenever I finish this wanderlust fantasy ride I'm on, I'll return, not to my own palace, but most likely to my childhood room in my parents home, still decorated as if I were 8. And I'm writing this, pushing up my glasses, alone, in an internet cafe, at 9:30 at night.


Did I mention I'm unemployed?


And what GIVES with this receding hairline, uuuhhh.


I keep talking to really old guys (like, the over 30 crowd), and they all tell me not to worry, they "get more chicks" since losing their hair. From this, I have deduced the following: I am fairly certain that it's common to lie about how many "chicks you get" when you have no hair. This makes you feel better about having no hair. Maybe I should stop wearing sombreros. Or look into getting plugs. I hear they're getting fairly good results these days. Or maybe I can just transplant some of the hair that is inevitably going to start growing in my ears onto my forehead.


I mean, it's only a matter of time until I have hair in my ears.


...MORE hair in my ears.


Anybody know a cheap online site for viagara?


I was eating dinner tonight at the local market, and as is a very common sight here, there was a picture of Jesus hanging behind the grill. I must've seen this same picture a thousand times. But today, I noticed something different. Jesus had a receding hairline. It's hard to tell at first glance, but you can tell by the way his part falls down the middle and the off to the side. It's covering it up.


No better way to make yourself look younger than shaving your beard right? Out came the clippers. Hack hack, chop chop... *gasp* OH MY DEAR SWEET MANGO FACE, what has happened to you?! What happened to that beautiful smooth mango skin that you pay the premium dollar for at the market? Why have you forsaken me?! You look like those old mangos, that you can get a discount on because all of the people just pass you by. Ohhhh.



Okay, I'm laughing. This is all quite ridiculous.


The older the mango, the sweeter the taste. Up till a certain age anyway, like, 29.


I am 28, yes. I'm single, yes. I'm unemployed, true. I've got no kids, I think. Sure, I've got no house. Sure, I'm not rich. But man, am I happy. My life is rolling along like a sweet song, and I have to laugh whenever I think "oh MAN I'm getting old, maybe I should go home and get a career, and a house, and a, and a, and a..."


Bwaaaahahahaha. (That's the closest I can get to spelling a belly laugh.)


Maybe later.

For now, I'm having too much fun.